My Everyday Life

Nothing

2012-01-17T12:59:00.000-08:00

So here's the honest truth. I write blog entries and titles in my head but then go to post them and catch myself worrying, no, "worrying" is the wrong word. Catch myself... thinking? knowing? lamenting? that people read the stupid randomness from my head. I don't care that people read this. I just don't want to know that you've read it. Pretend this blog doesn't exist...

But that's not true either. Because I like it when people comment on my thoughts. (It's okay, blog stalkers. You, too, can continue reading. I don't ever have to worry about your comments because, well, you don't make them. Online OR in person. Ha!)

I figured it out.

What's not okay is when my cyber life crosses my in-person life. That's it! (Small epiphany happening now...)

If I have a conversation with someone, in general, I know that I've talked to that person. But online, you post it and you never really know who's read what or paid attention. And that's okay. In person I assume you don't have a Facebook account or care to read my blog's ramblings. In person, it's a conversation that picks up where the last one left off.

But online, there are too many connections and crossings and complications. I don't like guessing or trying to figure out whether you already know that I said something or made a particular statement. I want to tell you the whole revelation or story from scratch rather than starting from the simplistic online version. I don't want you to think that what you've already read me write is permanent or the whole story... even though it might be.

See? Like I said, let's just pretend this blog doesn't exist.

And So It Begins

2012-01-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

It's official. We're barely into January and every ounce (and I have a lot of ounces) of my being is begging for a vacation. Today I decided I wanted to do something different. So as soon as the kids left for school, I drove to Pullman to score myself some unneeded toothpaste at Wal-Mart. (Only 25 cents per tube, thank you very much!) Then I decided to go see Stucki at work. Love my husband but the visit was extremely disappointing. I sent him a text... "Want to go on a treasure hunt? I'm in the building. Come find me." (Sounds kind of like a romantic comedy, doesn't it?) 10 minutes later and after no response, I decided to stop wasting my time. To his credit, he did catch up to me and, after much sweet talking and determined almost-begging on my part, we went back to catch a smoothie. SHOCK. We spent money frivolously and he even paid.

"What's up?" he asked about a gazillion times.

Well, I need a vacation. A break from the mundane. I'm tired of being responsible and I don't want to be by myself. Let's go to Arizona. Let's plan a trip to the coast. Let's buy a car. Or go on a cruise. Okay, I'll admit that I was all over the board but it doesn't really matter. Mr. Buzz Kill promptly reminded me (over and over again) that we have financial commitments and goals and no wriggle room for silliness.

I begged.

It didn't help.

Happy January.

A New Year Approaches

2011-12-30T16:13:00.000-08:00

I'm back! Not that I've ever really been gone, but I've missed my inward reflections posted outwardly on my humble little blog. And in honor of the quickly approaching new year, I've thought of all sorts of fun blog entries to celebrate a fresh blog start but there's a problem with each of them. For example -

12 resolutions for 2012
Well, that won't work. For the first time EVER I haven't set any. AND, again for the first time EVER, I don't plan to! (So put that in your pipe and smoke it...)

11 accomplishments from 2011
Except that I'm SURE I accomplished more than 11... I just can't remember ANY of them.

I could go on. But I won't.

Suffice it to say, there's a new year coming but I'm (mostly) the same 'ole me.

A Sandwich Pause

2011-06-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

Days like today are the reasons I have a blog. It's a quiet place to pause, reflect and dump.

Yesterday was a very busy day - I hosted a live question and answer session on facebook for family-reunion-success.com. It was a first. I saw another site do it, had the contacts for a potential advertiser and decided to give her access to my contacts by hosting a session with prizes. I've been planning this for weeks - recruiting panelists (I even invited my competition) and participants, securing prizes and figuring out logistics through a series of posts, email and website updates.

The session started at 11:00 a.m. my time yesterday morning. I spent all morning gearing up and making sure I was prepared. By 10:40 all I could do was sit here and stare at my computer, with my stomach in knots. You know - the pre-party jitters. What if no one shows up? What if it's a total flop? What will people think?

But they DID show, it was NOT a flop and who cares what people think. (At least that's what I keep telling myself.) I know some people didn't - DON'T - "get it" and question my actions. But I know that there is a definite well-thought-out madness behind each of my methods.

The hour (and a half) was SO intense and went by SO fast! I was trying to manage posts, give prizes, answer questions... it may sound simple but next time I think I'll recruit even more help. If there is a next time.

The rest of the day was spent following up, communicating with prize givers and winners and trying to summarize all the conversation into one document and then share that document out via Facebook and my site. At some point I need to break up the web post into smaller parts but that can wait. For now, it is what it is. It took me - literally - until 9:55 p.m. to finish.

But I did finish and I'm glad I did. That way yesterday is yesterday - done. One complete package, secured with a knot.

And tomorrow can be tomorrow. Another busy day, with another online "experiment," this time with a particular (new) approach to a Heritage Makers online workshop.

Thank goodness I had the sense to schedule a big 'ole "SAVE" for ALL of today so that I can recoup and regroup. I'm trying to do more of that - recognize that for every event on my calendar I need time to prep, clean up and pause. A space between events that prevents an emotional overload.

And that's today - a day set aside for nothing in particular.

A sandwich pause.

Stuck

2011-05-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

There is a space between awake and asleep where nothing seems to matter. There's some sense of dread - because of the possibiltity of a nightmare - and there's a slight sense of hope - because it's light outside. But the air is heavy and everything moves in slow motion through a blurry fog.

That's where I am.

The sun is shining but I can't feel it. It's easier to forget than to remember. I feel like a dead weight, useless and without purpose.

I can see with my logical eyes and brain that this sense of nothingness is fake. Yet I can't wake up enough to shake my used-to-be Type A goals and agenda into shape. Everything is fuzzy.

I am stuck.

My sole accomplishment for the day just might be the hot shower I was just barely able to manage.

Yet, even as I say that, I know it's not true because I'm about to put on my "happy face" and pretend to the world that's it's a beautiful day and muster through my responsibilities.

Anonymity

2011-05-03T12:06:00.001-07:00

I miss writing. It helps me sort out my thoughts and gather focus.

In between the numerous blog entries that I draft in my head, I've been trying to figure out why, if I like writing so much and if it helps me, haven't I been doing more of it.

Here's the problem: my web anonymity is gone. Seriously! I've used my personal blog to link OUT to my various business endeavors to earn points with Google but I've never linked back here from anywhere. In general, I don't even tell people I have a blog and I don't give the address out. And yet... there are at least 56 people who check every single week to see if I've written anything new. Who are you? No clue. Why do you read? NO clue.

That's the beauty of the internet. This is an open site and the world has access. I'm pretty sure that's why it's called the "world wide web." I have no control or ability to determine who reads and who links. I know it, understand it and accept it.

I've considered going private. I have. But in so many ways, that would defeat my purpose. I want people to read; I actually enjoy sending my thoughts and feelings out into the world. It's somewhat refreshing to get them out without ever having to bother a real person. And every once in a while a stranger can relate. I like that part, too.

The problem lies in the fact that I used to be just an anonymous voice - separate from my everyday interactions on and off line. I've always been careful about what I write but these days, with my anonymity gone, I feel restricted and confined. More than ever, I worry about offending someone that I know in real life or that my negative thoughts (let's be real - my posts are more negative than positive) will influence my business image.

Oh, boy. I just said "business image." I don't know that I really have one of those. But I am involved in a lot these days and am always very conscious of putting my best, POSITIVE foot forward. Whether it's writing a newsletter for a web site, posting a thought on Facebook, hosting an event at my house, attending a church meeting, answering the phone or volunteering at school, I try to be my best. I don't ever, EVER want to be one of those negative, toxic people that paint the world in grays and blacks! I want to be one of those energetic, magnetic people that are refreshing to be around, kind and thoughtful. I like bright colors. I want to BE a bright color.

I purposely focus on being positive, even, or perhaps I should say "especially," when I don't feel it. But in reality, I fight negative thoughts and downer moods every single day. Most days (today included and there's even sunshine outside) I want to stay in bed. And I'll admit it - sometimes I don't answer the phone. Or the door. This blog has been my safe haven. A place to flush out the negative. A place to relax. A place to reflect. A place to be brutally honest with myself. A place to hide. A place to store the grays and blacks while I flit in color among the living.

I'm not sure I can - or should - continue my private refuge without anonymity.

Is it wise to express the sadness and frustration that I feel when Oriental Trading tells me they don't want to do business? Or to reflect on what my excess gut flesh feels like? How do I talk about my adventures of being a full time advocate for my son at school when what I say here might directly influence his daily life? Is it rude to be excited about a financial or statistical number that culture says should be kept confidential?

No matter how I look at it, blogging was easier when I felt anonymous.

Quote of the Day

2011-03-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

"Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how.'"

- Viktor Frankl

My "Work at Home" Adventures

2011-03-17T11:09:00.000-07:00

These days, I am loving the freedom and flexibility of driving my own schedule and enjoying ALL of my entrepreneurial adventures. It was not my decision to have "just" two kids. But having "just" two kids DOES come with certain advantages... like all of the fun projects that I have time to do!! And I might as well enjoy that, right??

My online ventures go like this...

2006 - Found a company online called Site Build It! or SBI for short. Started dreaming - for real, this time - of making money online. No time to do anything real. Kids are 4 and 6 years old.

2008 - Started www.Family-Reunion-Success.com as a hobby, primarily as a creative outlet and a way to keep sane.

Nov. 2008 - Made my first $$ online. Began to search for other money-making avenues that I could connect w/ my website.

Dec. 2008 - Discovered Heritage Makers, made my first project and fell in love.

2009 - Signed up as an HM consultant. Decided to learn more about HM in order to better incorporate HM projects into Family-Reunion-Success.com. Spent the year developing family reunion related HM projects. Realized that if I want to promote HM online the SBI way, I need a different website.

Oct. 2009 - Started www.Photo-Gifts-and-Ideas.com.

2010 - Recognized HM as a ground floor business opportunity and decided HM could be something in and of itself. Attended company meetings and recruited my first team member. Focused on maintaining my family reunion site. Continued slowly building my photo gifts site.

2011 - Start a Heritage Makers blog for sharing news, projects and information. Become active on FaceBook as myself, My Life My Heritage and Family-Reunion-Success.com.

Today. March 17, 2011 - Kids are dressed in green. Post on FB, blogs, check websites. Start a 3rd FB page - Photo-Gifts-and-Ideas.com. Remember that I haven't showered yet and that my kids (now 9 and 11 years old) deserve my attention.

Time to go!

Tortilla Wraps

2011-02-23T10:41:00.000-08:00

These wraps are so yum. I've taken them to two different events in the last week and both times I had virtually everyone ask me for the recipe. So here it is. I wish I could say that they are an original or that I have a secret touch, but they aren't and I don't. I'm just in love with allrecipes.com and found this winner a couple years ago.

Party Pinwheels

2 (8 oz) pkgs cream cheese
1 (1 oz) pkg ranch dressing mix
2 green onions, minced
4 (12 inch) flour tortillas
1/2 cup red bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup diced celery
1 (2 oz) can sliced black olives
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

In a medium-size mixing bowl, combine cream cheese, ranch dressing mix, and green onions. Spread this mixture on each tortilla. Sprinkle red pepper, celery, black olives, and cheese over the cream cheese mixture. Roll up the tortillas, then wrap them tightly in aluminum foil.

Chill 2 hours or overnight. Cut off ends of the rolls and then slice the chilled rolls into 1 inch slices.

My Alterations:
I like to use spinach and/or sun dried tomato tortillas. I usually double all the veggies and use less cheese. I use low fat cream cheese and never remember to add the green onions to the cream cheese mixture. The cream cheese acts like glue. So if you're running late (like me) and don't have time for a full 2-hr chill, just make sure you have cream cheese right to the edge and then they'll be just fine. I add a few slices of thinly sliced deli turkey (like Budding or whatever) before rolling. Last but not least, a uniform veggie chop is key! I love, love, LOVE my chop wizard.

Day #1

2011-02-23T10:34:00.000-08:00

I did something bold, new and very brave this morning - entered the Biggest Loser Competition at NIAC. What is it about allowing someone else to see that number on the scale that is so daunting?? I think it's because of the risk of failure. After all - what if I don't lose? Or, worse yet, what if I try really, really hard and still don't lose?? Well, then I guess it'd be par for the course. It seems like some things don't ever change. And me - struggling with body image, weight and a consistent clothing size - seems to be one of those things. I keep telling myself that I haven't quit yet so there must be some success in that... Right??

Quote of the Day

2011-01-18T14:35:00.000-08:00

No one can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
- Unknown

Hiding

2011-01-13T10:22:00.000-08:00

Today it feels like I'm hiding from the world. And yet, really, "the world" would have NO idea that I'm hiding. So am I really hiding? I just found myself returning a phone call and accepting an invitation to serve. And with a positive tone of voice. Now that I think about it, I may have even laughed.

So what do I do to better align the insides of my head to the outside actions of my body? I used to think (and even pride myself in the fact) that I was pretty... steady. You know, the opposite of "moody." I'm not so sure anymore.

And maybe "moody" isn't such a bad thing, anyway. It's January. And I'm coming to learn that I really, REALLY struggle during cold, dark, dreary winter months.

Blech.

Over and over and over again

2011-01-12T09:43:00.001-08:00

I'm on the verge of tears this morning because everything is THE SAME. It's embarassing. I struggle with the same things over and over and over again. I'm still wearing the same cotton t-shirt. I still have incredibly frustrating down days. I still wonder about MY individual pupose in life. I still want to make a difference in this world and I still doubt my ability to do so.

The only difference between my new year's goals of this year and years past is the year noted at the top of the list. Get fit. Eat better. Make healthy choices. Read my scriptures. Manage my time better. Blah blah blah.

I feel pressured. And insecure. Guilty.

Yet I continue to put on a positive face each for my husband and for the world. Meanwhile my heart is crying and my insides feel like they're going to burst.

I'm tired of trying. Correction. I don't even WANT to try.

I'm ready to crawl into a dark hole and eat chocolate chip cookies for the rest of my life.

"What-ever" with Breakfast

2010-10-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

I just got a total eye roll, negative body language and a defiant turn with a sassy, "what-ever" from my oldest son! I have to be perfectly honest and say that I'm more than a little shocked.

I was on my way to retrieve several "lost" items from his classroom, including a new $20 jacket that he'd worn only ONCE, and he was obviously embarrassed to have me around. I have to admit though. It was probably a bit more than that. After all, I had just caught him having breakfast. Yeah, okay, a kid's got to eat but what's wrong with the breakfast he left uneaten at home on the counter??

All of last school year I couldn't figure out why Caleb was always running out of lunch money. He eats mostly cold lunch. Was I really keeping track that poorly? Maybe the cooks were accidentally putting the money in Garrett's account. "Oh well," I thought. And kept writing checks for hot LUNCH. Turns out the kid was eating BREAKFAST as often as he could!!

Ah, sneaky, we laughed. And, come on, kind of cute that he's so clever.

Fast forward to this school year.

Same problem.

But no longer funny.

We talk. And talk. I lecture about waste. Jason lectures about money. We both lecture about the difference between home and school nutrition. Oh, good. Problem solved.

Not.

This morning I had to hurry to catch up to Caleb, the hob-along w/ a broken pelvis - that's a different story - who suddenly is walking much faster than he has in over a week. When I catch up, I see that he's stuffing a butter-soaked English muffin into his mouth just as fast as he can. You know, so that he can move onto the chocolate chunk chocolate muffin that's patiently waiting and make it all disappear before I see. He knew exactly what he was doing!! He stalled in the hallway to sneak into the cafeteria when I wasn't looking, snuck past me when I paused and then, with his back squarely to me, was magically out of ear-range when I called for him to wait. I caught up to him just outside the classroom.

At that point, there was NO WAY he was going to have me follow him into his classroom to retrieve forgotten belongings.

"I got it, Mom. Really."

Okay. I waited.

He returns, throws 2 lunch boxes and 1 jacket at me and starts to turn.

"Hey, bud," I say. "Can I talk to you?"

"What-ever!!"

I guess I'll take that as a "no."

Living in the Information Age

2010-09-06T20:18:00.001-07:00

I have survived the past 38 years of my life withOUT a cell phone. Now, if you don't already own a cell phone, you know that we're the minority and that it's becoming harder and harder all the time to live w/out this little piece of smart buttons and noise. If you DO own a cell phone, you probably think I'm nuts.

That's okay. I pretty much am nuts.

I actually have a huge problem with cell phone users, face book junkies and text addicts. For the most part, I'm convinced these people lack REAL lives with REAL people.

You've seen and experienced them, I'm sure... the three girls walking together but each engrossed in their own cell phone... the IDIOT who tries to text while he/she drives... the cell phone caller who seemingly has all the time in the world because they're sitting in some random parking lot waiting for someone or something and refuses to recognize the fact that you need to hang up because your dinner is burning... the boy who's romantically rubbing sunscreen on a girl he's obviously over-infatuated with while the girl is completely oblivious because she's texting on her phone (probably to another guy)... the "friend" on face book who fills your news feed with endless farmville, antville, oceanville and whoville posts (yes, I know these are fictitious)... the person who's phone rings in the middle of the movie/meeting/restaurant... I could go on.

But my biggest complaint EVER.... is when you're talking or visiting w/ a person FACE to FACE and that person is more distracted by their phone - answering calls, checking email, texting - than they are engaged in the conversation. That is just plain RUDE.

(Not that I feel strongly about it or anything!)

If you ARE a cell phone junkie, I challenge you to test yourself. The next time you're engaged in a FACE to FACE conversation, how many times do you check or fiddle with your phone?? I'll bet you do it more than you even realize.

That said...

Happy birthday, to me... I FINALLY got a cell phone!! And, get this - I LOVE IT!! I am completely amazed at how cool it is that I have so many things in one place - my calendar, email, task list, address book, phone list, internet. It's nothing less than incredible. And, seriously, how did I manage to go so long without this wonderful 2-year commitment??

Ironic, isn't it? Yes, I'm fully aware. I'm also a little scared that the thing might actually ring.

Right NOW

2010-08-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

Here's the inspirational quote of the day -
The present moment is always here.

At this present moment, my insides want to be grateful, kind, thoughtful and productive even though my outsides don't want to do anything but eat and sleep and avoid.

I'm good at that - the avoiding part. When I start to feel overwhelmed, over-scheduled and over-tired, I find myself turning inward. Ignoring the phone. Not wanting to talk to anyone. Searching for baked goods. And tonight is one of those times.

I'm up late but too exhausted - mentally, not necessarily physically - to get anything done. I'm surrounded by piles of paper, the bill basket, open binders and notebooks, random notes and a zillion lists. I know I'd be able to think clearer if my desk were clean but I can't think straight enough to even get started.

Nervous. Anxious.

Tired.

Wanting to do better. To BE better. But always falling short in the present moment.

I think I'll go to bed and look for a better NOW tomorrow.

Lessons from the Old Testament

2010-06-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

So.

I teach the Old Testament to the adults during Sunday School every other week. It freaks me out. Every single time - nightmares and everything. I'm not a scriptorian AND I struggle to understand the Old Testament.

However. As these things usually go, I get the most out of my lessons. So really, my freaking out is a blessing in disguise because it forces me to study, think and, of course, learn.

The day before yesterday, I taught a lesson about King Saul, Daniel and Jonathon... qualities of a good friend and the importance of avoiding pride and jealousy. I ended my lesson with a challenge for the class to be more like righteous Daniel and noble Jonathon and less like jealous King Saul in their relationships during the coming week.

I'm having an extremely difficult time heeding my own advice.

Today - right NOW, as a matter of fact - my stomach is in knots, my teeth are clenched and my shoulders are tense. Why? Because someone - other than myself - did something amazing. I wanted to do that. I wanted the credit. I wanted the rewards. Not her. ME! Plain and simple - I'm jealous. And I feel like I've been left out. (Interesting, isn't it, that a piece of information meant to INCLUDE leaves me feeling LEFT OUT.)

So where does it leave me?

Blogging. For the first time in over a month, even. Venting to cyberspace but trying desperately to focus my thoughts and eventual comments in a positive direction.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

Is it okay to like a dog?

2010-05-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not a dog person. Heck, I'm not even a pet person. But now we own a dog. As Jason would say - a fuzzy little ball of fur with no purpose. Who's going to be alive for the next 12-18 years. And I can't even complain about the chewing and pooping and extra work because then all the people - especially family - who already think we're crazy would give me the "I told you so" lecture. I don't want the "I told you so" lecture. Feeling the need to justify our much-debated decision is bad enough.

But here's the strange part - I'm finding myself - me, a practical thinking, anti-dog person - liking the dang thing! And is it possible I don't even mind the extra work?? My head has been full of debate lately. It goes something like this:

Dang, she's cute.
But she stinks.

She doesn't stink. She just smells like dog food.
Yes, and dog food stinks! Costs money, too.

I'll just give her a bath.
Ah, look at those eyes! And they way she adores me! She's following me again.

Dang thing. I can't even walk in my own kitchen without tripping over a dog. What's a dog doing in my kitchen??
Oh, my. She wants to play. Look how fun it is to watch her chase that plastic egg!

Uh, oh. Am I smiling? I can't be smiling because of a useless animal. Dogs are dumb. I don't like dogs.
Then why are you smiling and laughing?

Me? Smiling at a dog? Who's running in my house?
Nah, couldn't be.

Can't Breathe

2010-05-19T09:17:00.001-07:00

So after doing some amazing barbell snatches at the gym this morning, oh, and squating 165 - yes, you read that correctly - pounds, I was feeling all sorts of victorious and decided to put on a size smaller pair of jeans than normal. It's not pretty. And I can't really breathe. But I've got them on, dang it! How long they last is another story entirely. Maybe they'll stretch.

I get it.

2010-05-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

Meet Pickles.

She's the dog in the picture with REAL eyes, nose and hair. And the most adorable thing ever.

And, here, you can see part of the reason we caved.

Check out his peaceful expression!

Whether or not to get a dog is something we've been considering for - literally - years. After much research and weeks of anticipation, this last weekend we traveled to pick up Pickles, who is a toy breed Havamalt (cross between a havanese and maltese).

Here's the best part -
We had more advanced notice and more instructions given to us with Pickles than we did with either Caleb or Garrett! It makes me laugh.

Even Garrett is falling in love.

Here's the most amazing part.

I get it. I finally understand why pet owners talk about their pets and how some pets wind up being treated like people and such a part of the family.

And we're only on Day #3.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

2010-05-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

My grandpa learned the love of poetry from his dad and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was one of his (their?) favorites. Yesterday, someone shared this quote and it instantly made me think of my grandpa.

“The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.”
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The last time I ever saw Grandpa, I was leaving he and Grandma's house and he said, with a huge smile on his face, something along the lines of, "Well, you better get over here and give me a kiss because you never know, it might be your last chance." I was always too shy to be comfortable with physical affection but that day, due to his prompting, I left him with a kiss on the lips and have been grateful ever since.

Baby Steps...

2010-04-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

Feeling like a Schmuck.

2010-04-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today the sunshine is not helping my subdued mood. I'm tired. It was a busy weekend and I did good things for people. Last weekend was also busy. I did good things then, too. Both weekends were good. And happy. And full of laughter. And of cooking for lots and lots of people. So. I've been maxed out for who knows how long and then this morning after getting 5 kids to school, I turned around and made cheesy potatoes for a funeral and attended a conference call meeting. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of laundry, muddy shoes, unanswered email and lack of dinner plans that surround me. (By the way, the smart dinner thing would have been to make TWO pans of cheesy potatoes - one for us, one for the funeral. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough ingredients on hand for such wisdom.) In between all this, I find myself feeling badly that I didn't go with Caleb on his field trip today. When does it stop? Why can't I be enough already? Why isn't just sleeping, sitting or reading ever on my task list? I don't even surf the net for fun any more. Somehow, all those things aren't good enough. Somehow those things are self-indulgent and lazy. And, somehow, such thoughts have been engraved in my psyche and are permanently etched in my brain. You know - that I should be making lemon bars for 50 people from scratch instead of from a boxed mix... Never mind that making lemon bars for 50 people is a task in and of itself... I'm forever falling short and never quiet good enough. Tired. Feeling guilty. Like like a total schmuck.

Cub Scouts - Jeans - April Fool's - Easter

2010-04-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

I love pictures. And I have a great little point and shoot, but even so, I have to constantly remind myself to use it! Then there's the issue of keeping the battery charged and I won't even go there. (Nothing like not having a functional camera on one of those important dates, like, oh, say, like a birthday or the last time the kids will see their grandparents for 6 years - I won't go there either. Breanna already did!)

But.

Here are some very everyday pictures that show what we've been up to lately. Nothing grand, but combine it all and it's definitely kept us busy!

Garrett has been waiting a long, long time to attend cub scouts. He finally turned 8 on March 19th and got to join his brother in going to weekly den meetings.

After collecting litteraly 100's of pairs of used blue jeans, we were finally able to get them out of the garage and to their function - the Palouse Habitat for Humanity's annual fundraising dinner and auction. The theme? "Beans 'n Jeans." The jeans were awesome!

Very, VERY heavy though.

Happy April Fool's Day! We had the triplets so I surprised the kids with "cupcakes" for lunch - meatloaf baked in a muffin tin w/ mashed potatoes for frosting. Definitely not one of their favorites (why do colored mashed potatoes taste so differently than white ones??) but fun nonetheless. Amazingly enough, everyone finished the "cupcakes" so they could have a real cupcake for dessert.

We colored over 4 dozen eggs on Friday! My favorites are always at the very end when you start to combine the dye and mix them to see what fun and random colors and designs you can make. Most of those last ones turned out a dark, purple-ish, nasty gray!

Fitting In

2010-03-31T16:35:00.001-07:00

There are a few things that it seems like EVERYONE in Moscow owns:

* Subaru Outback
* tie dye
* Keens
* composting bin
* reuseable shopping bags
* dog

After living here for 15 years, we almost fit in completely!

Fighting with Myself

2010-03-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

All I want to do today is go back to bed. And stay there. Forever. I'm tired and grumpy, discouraged and frustrated. It's cold and dreary outside and my desk is piled with various papers, forms, bills and other matters that beg for my attention. Today I feel overwhelmed with the smallest of tasks and really, really, REALLY want to deal with life by ignoring it completely from the safety of my soft pillow and warm comforter.

However.

Instead of crawling back to bed, I keep forcing myself to do the simplest of daily tasks, one item at a time. Slowly. Each is a struggle. But I've showered, talked to people (and even put on my happy face), answered email, started laundry and scheduled meetings. Next is to muster the energy to go to school and complete my weekly volunteer assignment of sorting and stuffing papers into folders. I'm not excited about it.

But then again, what have I been excited about today? Not much. Well, except for the thought of going back to bed...

Facebook

2010-03-14T22:45:00.000-07:00

Facebook is an odd place, I think. I just don't get it. Why would you want to have seemingly private conversations with friends in front of the entire world? I can't tell you how many times this comment or that one leaves me hanging... I find myself wondering things like -

Was that comment intended for me?
Am I supposed to know what he/she is talking about?
How much time are these people "wasting" looking for strangers to befriend?
This seems like a popularity contest.

That said, I've succumbed to social pressure and am on facebook. I have a hard time remembering that I am, though. Maybe I'm just too self-focused to browse through other people's lives and search for friends... or people who I think might want to be my friend if they can remember who I am!! All this mindless internet surfing just all seems like huge time wasters. Ironic, isn't it, that I blog, interact on facebook and run two websites? Yeah, I think so, too.

Regardless, I just set up a facebook page for Family-Reunion-Success.com and you're officially invited to become a FAN! At least I can use the "business" excuse for building relationships via social networking.

A Bold Move

2010-03-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

In a bold and somewhat unusual move, I just did something amazing. Are you ready? I made my bed. Yup, it's true. That bed of mine has been calling out to me lately. But today I'm ignoring it.

Determination vs. Will Power

2010-03-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

Are determination and will power the same thing? I've decided they're not.

To me, will power suggests there's something right in front of you and if you have will power, you can resist it. Determination, on the other hand, is a plan and the willingness and mind set to follow that plan.

I know that I don't have any will power. But I really did think that I have determination. In the past, I've also considered myself tenacious, persistent and, yes, even the newest word that someone used for me - unrelenting.

But today I'm tired. Tired of trying. Tired of getting up early and always having a full calendar. Tired of balancing our money with our activities and tired of the self-induced pressure to perform in all areas of life. Tired of the gym. Tired of email. Tired of self doubt. Tired of goals. Tired of dirty carpets. Just plain tired. (And I even had a nap today.)

I've never felt that I had much will power. And today I don't have any determination either.

Demons and Toothpaste

2010-02-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

I am constantly fighting a variety of dark demons that live in my head. They tell me things ALL the time like, "not good enough," "you look stupid," "why try?" and "don't bother." The stupid little buggers are the reason I push myself to nausea at the gym, run hard and sweat like a pig. (Do pigs really sweat?)

Today, with a little help from the Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga, I squished those demons to an unrecognizable pulp!! A victory, indeed. They'll come back (they always do) but for now I am relishing in the fact that I set a new 1-mile personal record - 9 minutes, 2 seconds. While that may not be worth much to some, it's huge for me and much faster than my standard "fast" 10 minute miles. Take THAT, you stupid demons!

To celebrate my greatness, I decided to do a whirlwind straighten/clean the house. Again, thanks to the Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga (there's a lot to be said for a new play list!), I folded laundry, swept and dusted like a mad woman. I even made the boys' beds for them and cleaned their room. (By the way, they are SO busted! I found dozens of empty candy wrappers under their beds.)

It's the boys' bathroom that prompted the second part of this blog title.

I don't know HOW they do it, but somehow the entire bathroom was decorated in blue sticky toothpaste. Here's a list of places I found it: mirror, sink, counter, toilet paper roll, bathtub (!!), rug, door, light switch, garbage can, toilet (gross!!), wall, towels... and I'm sure I'm missing some. Proper brushing, clean teeth and caring for toothpaste is an ongoing conversation (ISSUE) at our house so the mess didn't really surprise me.

What DID surprise me is that - apparently - the kids haven't learned yet that bodily waste of ALL colors goes IN the toilet. Not on the floor. Not in the garbage can. Not ON or AROUND the toilet. Not even on the wall or in the bathtub. But IN the toilet!!

Oh, how I love my boys. Hate the demons but definitely love the boys.

Photo Gifts and Ideas

2010-02-16T13:11:00.001-08:00

When I started Family-Reunion-Success.com over a year ago, I had no idea what I was doing. I still don't consider myself an expert in online marketing or making money on the internet. But I do know more now than I did then. And. I've certainly proven to myself that making money online is very REAL and POSSIBLE even for the little 'ole me's. I love my work-at-home gig!

Website #1 was a learning process... an experiment in every sense of the word. Amazing personal therapy and a fun hobby. I still maintain my family reunion site and think about it often. I will continue to grow, build and love www.Family-Reunion-Success.com.

However, since my online focused switched somewhat from "hobby" to "business," I've been thinking more about photographs and all of the amazing projects you can do with them.

Which leads me to introduce Website #2: www.Photo-Gifts-and-Ideas.com! I LOVE pictures and all the things you can do with photographs. To me, photo gifts are meaningful, personal, thoughtful and useful. And, as long as you update the photo, you can give the same gift to the same person, over and over again, year after year. (Isn't that SMART?)

It's a work in progress, but I invite you to visit the place for gift ideas that will add meaning to life by celebrating memories with precious photos - my newest online venture.

Goofy Pictures

2010-02-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

These days I can't get a descent photo of either child. It's all about looking cool, pulling faces, being silly or - heaven forbid - simply ignoring me. It makes me think that someday I'll look back at these goofy pictures and miss those good 'ole days.

"It's just been SOOO busy!"

2010-02-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

We all have crazy, busy lives. And - aren't we so lucky and so blessed to be soooo busy??

I attended Heritage Makers meetings this weekend (awesome!) and one of the comments that really hit me was - "We're busy because we want to be." And isn't that the truth! Busy is a good thing. The trick is you just have to make sure that you're always "busy" doing the things that are of highest priority to you and your family at that time. (Veggie Tales comes to mind about now... "I'm busy, busy, terribly busy...")

To me, this means sometimes I'm "busy" with a wide variety of activities at any given time - blogging, driving the kids around, talking to a friend, hanging out with my husband, writing a web page, planning my day (or life, as the case may be), doing dishes, laundry and housework, or - get this - sometimes I'm even busy sleeping! (Shhh... don't tell anyone, but, yes, sometimes I have even have a nap in the middle of the day! Those are some of my favorite days.)

I think this is called "balance."

Today I will be busy making task lists and organizing my priorities. There are so many things jumping around in my head right now that I'm unable to think straight! I'm sure seeing everything sorted out on paper will help tremendously.

Life is still good!

Rockin' Out

2010-02-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

The advantage of watching those stupid shoot-em-up-bang-bang movies with my husband is that every once in a while - just every once in a while - I find a new running song. I found one and I'm rockin' in my seat, enjoying the sunshine outside and getting ready to pick up my amazing boys from school.

Life is good.

What I Learned at a Birthday Party

2010-01-30T10:25:00.001-08:00

We went to a family birthday party at the bowling alley last night. My bowling score left something to be desired - okay, it was pathetic - but the pizza? It was dripping grease and loaded with delicious cheese, fattening pepperoni and tasty sausage. Absolutely delicious!

Oh sure, it covered my tongue with a thick, pasty something or other and I was full after 1/2 a piece, but did I stop? Oh, of course not. Like I said, it was too good!

Then, came the ice cream and cake. Not my favorite kinds of either but did I eat it? Of course! After all, it was Neapolitan ice cream with the fluffiest, moistest white cake loaded with that pure sugar, green birthday cake icing. Yum!

After that, I begged my kids for the chocolate out of their treat bags. They were kind enough to give me my favorites - a bit of twix, a stick of kit kat, handful of m&m's and my own mini Hershey's chocolate bar. None of it tasted like I remembered them to taste. They weren't even very good. But my brain was absolutely convinced that I needed it ALL.

Needless to say, I woke up in the night thinking I might puke. And could still feel all that wonderful crappy gunk in my gut when I got up this morning. I was about to berate myself, take away all my privileges for the day. You know, really give myself the what-to-for. But instead, I decided to follow a friend's advice: look upon mistakes as GIFTS because they present opportunities for learning and personal growth. (And I'm sure she didn't mean the waistband kind of growth.)

So...

After a week of super, super clean eating, what a GIFT it was to overeat on unhealthy pizza, cake and ice cream, so I that I could analyze the situation for my future benefit.

Here's what I learned -

* Serious cravings are very real and some are worse than others.

* High sugar, high fat foods are just that - sugar and fat. Neither is good for my body but my brain doesn't always know it.

* Clean eating makes me feel healthy, strong and balanced. Pizza, ice cream, cake and candy make me feel sick, tired and fat.

* When "one bite" isn't enough, "one bite" isn't worth it.

* Regardless of the task at hand, I can start fresh again and again and again - and again. As many times as necessary.

A New Diet Plan

2010-01-25T11:06:00.000-08:00

So, I'm on this weight loss quest - and vow it will be my last ever. The good news is, 24-ish pounds are gone and I feel like I have lots of clothing choices in my closet these days.

The bad news is that my progress is SO SLOW that this is gunna take awhile.

In (yet another) effort to find the weight loss "fast forward" button, I am in the middle of a huge, drastic measure. I'm changing my diet. Like, as in, BIG TIME change. As in (drum roll, please)... I am going gluten (aka wheat) and lactose (aka dairy) free. It's wild!

Don't tell me I'm crazy - because we already know that. This is just a temporary science experiment and I promise it won't last forever.

So what does it mean for day to day living? It means our grocery bill goes up, it means I buy ZERO processed foods, it means I take major calcium supplements, it means tons and tons of vegetables and - hopefully - it means more than a 1 lb weight loss per week.

Wish me luck!

Snuggle Sandwich

2010-01-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

Jason usually has meetings on Sunday mornings and I'm usually especially slow in getting out of bed. This last Sunday, I was laying there and in comes Boy #1. "Can I snuggle?" Most certainly! I needed to get up to finish preparing a lesson for church but who can turn down a snuggle request? I was just ready to get going, when in comes Boy #2. "Is there room for me to snuggle?" he asks. And what's a mom to say to THAT? Of course there's room!! So I had one boy on one side and the other boy on the other side, an arm wrapped around me, a hand resting on my shoulder, a leg crossing mine, a foot wedged in between and somebody was playing with my hair. Even though it was slightly uncomfortable, I was in heaven. I decided I'd take a snuggle sandwich over lesson prep any day!

Funky Fairies

2010-01-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

It's a normal thing to have thoughts bouncing around in my head. It's not a normal thing, however, to have thoughts bouncing around without a means of escape. Over the last few days, I've learned that, apparently, I really only need to say about 1% of what really does come out of my mouth, for I have been able to accomplish quite a lot with sign language from my sick bed.

I came down hard and fast with strep throat on Wednesday and can I just say? I hate being sick. A friend brought the kids home from school but from there they were on their own. They decided to bake cookies and I said whatever, just don't make me move. Turns out they could have chosen a safer activity. Because Caleb now has a 2-inch burn mark on his arm from when Garrett decided to chase him around the kitchen with a hot cookie sheet. By the time Jason got home from work, I was lying on the couch with 2 sweatshirts and 2 pair of socks on, underneath 5 blankets and still shivering. Caleb was sitting in the chair next to me with an ice pack on his arm. And Garrett was playing nurse, getting more blankets and fresh water as needed. I spent the next 16 hours or so in and out of sleep and completely miserable. Jason was my knight in shining armor - he took over entirely and even stayed home from work yesterday to take care of me. (I am SO blessed to have that man!)

On one hand, it's actually kind of nice to get a break from the gym, dishes, laundry and 100% of my responsibilities. On the other hand, come on already! Who wants to lay around with a glob of funky fairy poop in your mouth and do nothing? Not me. Today I decided to be "normal," despite the inability to swallow, let alone talk, and lingering taste of nastiness. I jumped - I mean "hobbled" - out of bed, got the kids breakfast - I mean "toasted a bagel" - cleaned the house - I mean "started the dishwasher and a load of laundry" - and suddenly discovered I have spent all of my energy for the day. So I decided to work on my website. It doesn't take a lot of energy to sit in front of a computer, right? Wrong. I stared at a blank screen for at least 1/2 an hour before finally deciding to blog instead.

So that's that. Even though I desperately wish they would leave me alone, I am now taking the funky fairies back to bed.

I can? Or can't.

2010-01-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

My favorite time of the year is NOW. Call me sick, but there's just something so refreshing about starting a new year. (Even when it is raining outside.) I love reviewing the past and setting new goals. However, when my personal trainer (yes, I still have one) was pushing me the other morning for some new fitness goals for the next two months, I was hesitant to share. I mean, he's already pushing me pretty hard - what if he starts pushing me even harder?? So while my REAL goal (besides the never-ending, obvious quest to lose weight) is along the lines of "improve body image," what slipped out was, "run a 10k." Seriously? It's been, um, like, years since I ran even a 5k so what was I thinking?? Obviously I wasn't thinking. So now I'm sitting here debating whether or not I need to back out. My email would read: "Dear Jo Jo. (No, that's not his name.) Please, please, please don't hold me accountable to that 10k thing. I'm scared to death of failing."

But then again.

There's a piece of me that thinks maybe, just maybe I really could run 6.2 miles straight.

And it would be a great way to start spring break...

But then again. What if I can't?

'Tis the Season

2009-12-10T20:23:00.000-08:00

My boys still believe in Santa Claus. This might be our last year...

Print!!

2009-12-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

Today is Heritage Makers' submission deadline for storybook projects to arrive in time for Christmas. I've been working like a crazy woman for the last few days, trying to finish up a few gifts. Last night I went to bed at 12:30 and got up this morning at 4:00. Crazy, I know. But. As long as my projects arrive without copy errors, it's worth it because I - FINALLY - just hit the "print" button. And, hey, check it out. It's only 1:00. I had hours to spare!

Things I'm Thankful For

2009-11-25T19:18:00.000-08:00

In no particular order -

caring teachers * the internet * my marriage * flushing toilets * pants * sticky fingers * lotion * expensive shoes * family * turkey * cold cereal * my house * friends * our cars * an upright freezer * boots * snow * the color red * trees * automatic washing machine * wal-mart * cute socks * snow pants * blue sky * sunshine * my sight * my kids * adoption * birth mothers * love notes * my husband * quarters * baby blankets * hot water * sugar * an income * the garage * automatic garage door openers * a small shower * my body * the dishwasher * pencils * the mailman * pictures * rainbows * ice cubes * milk * my bed * my pillow * chairs * blankets * elevators * shopping malls * grocery stores * roads * sunsets * colors * my hearing * strong fingernails * scissors * bandaids * dirt * food coloring * cookies * cake * peanut butter * hangers * clothes pins * push pins * books * the ability to read * a college education * dates with my husband * jesus christ * eternal families * temples * the ocean * jelly fish * frogs * worms * stuffed animals * flowers * snow * fall * mountains * schools * my gym membership * my common sense * carpet * curly hair * costumes * glue * the library * stop signs * freedom * chickens * eggs * breakfast * honest people * where we live * civic leaders * my calendar * teenagers * grass * my bike * my other bike * the ability to move * sore muscles * my computer monitor * paint * tye dye * my favorite sweatshirt * the ups man * a driveway * our fence * blossoms * people who smile * clam chowder * a basketball hoop * my organizational skills * blogging * my parents * grandparents * stars * my desk * a bathroom sink * running water * cotton balls * gloves * zippers * television * red box * 3-ring binders * weight watchers * soccer * my decorative hanging crystal * christmas ornaments * tweezers * electricity * soap * sunglasses * canned vegetables * fire * string cheese * my i-pod * my camera * stickers * heritage makers * life jackets * snow sleds * memories * relationships * medication * fresh drinking water * life! * strawberries * caramel * giggles from the gut * hugs * shiny rocks * our backyard * creative people * the holy ghost * mk eye makeup remover * expensive hair products * cough drops * sleep * variety * smooth surfaces * cotton balls * q-tips * jeans that fit * birthdays * black friday * clean clothes * play dough * silly putty * cookie cutters * nature * windows * hands to hold * glasses * people who share * envelopes * primary lessons * music * piano lessons * the ability to laugh *

Super Boy & Super Mom

2009-11-23T12:07:00.000-08:00

I'm so proud of my Garrett! He hates spelling, struggles with reading and we fight over homework. BUT, he scored 100% on his spelling test this last week AND increased his reading speed from 48-ish to 77 words per minute! He was so, so excited. He raced into the house after school - "Mom, Mom, Mom! Look at what I did!!" - and then could stop smiling and giggling. Of course I gave him big hugs and had to do the 100% dance. Then we called grandparents and did some more of the 100% percent dance. We also went out to dinner at Pizza Hut (his choice) as a family to celebrate. Part way through the weekend, Garrett asks, "Mom, am I Super Boy?" Of course!! "Then you're Super Mom," he says.

I love it!

Maximum Capacity

2009-11-12T11:55:00.000-08:00

How do you amp it up, kick in gear, really get going, crush it... if you're already functioning at maximum capacity? I don't have the stamina and drive that I used to. And I am easily emotionally overwhelmed. But you see, I'm on this weight loss mission...

Body image and weight, I'm afraid, will forever be a huge challenge for me. 2005 was a good year. I lost nearly 50 pounds and bought some cute (much smaller) clothes. 2007 (and 1/2 of '08) was a bad year(s). I gained nearly said 50 pounds back and was forced to buy some ugly (once again much bigger) clothes.

And then it was 2009. Where my focus for several months now has been SELF CARE, physically and emotionally. I've been to the doctors. I've taken several tests (including an endometrial biopsy - that was fun). My meds are in check. I'm following the doctor's orders. I wear cute socks. I buy and use lots of hair care products. I joined Weight Watchers. I hired a personal trainer. I take occasional naps. I don't eat after 7:00 p.m. I practice guided relaxation. I visit the chiropractor on a regular basis. I cook healthy meals. I shave my legs. (Don't laugh! It's important.)

And I decided this intense "self care" focus was okay because, as my new favorite quote states, "Successful people do what it takes to attain the help they need." And I have certainly needed it!!

But here's the deal: it's not enough. I want more progress and faster results!

I've been working out like crazy at the gym. (I've been 5-6 times per week every single week for the last 14 weeks, to be exact. And, as previously mentioned, I'm doing so under the supervision of a personal trainer.) I'm watching my food intake. And the weight? I'm down 13.4 pounds from 14 weeks ago. Yeah, okay, I'm down. And - true - I'm losing at a healthy rate. But seriously? Can't we just fast forward just a teensy tiny weensy little bit?? What would be so bad about TWO pounds per week?

I keep thinking I should increase the intensity but, as the title of this post suggests, I'm already functioning at maximum capacity in every area. The most frustrating part is that I'm unsure how long I can maintain my current pace.

Today's quote that stuck: "Never solve the problem from it's original perspective." (Charles Thompson) So. Bottom line? I have 2 choices:
1. Try harder still
or
2. Quit

Either way, I'm pretty sure I need a nap.

Fabulous Witch Wig

2009-11-09T13:33:00.000-08:00

Next year I'll be dressing up as a witch for Halloween. And I already can't wait! Joann's had their Halloween leftovers at 70% off today so I decided to do a little advanced planning. I got the most fabulous black wig and awesome little shoe covers. The only question left is whether to go as a dressy witch, scary witch or a plain strange witch. Regardless, I have the hair and shoes!

Grouchy as Hell

2009-11-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was the first to admit that I was a little grumpy. But you know it's especially bad when someone - who is not even related to me - has the courage to say, "Yeah, you're as grouchy as hell." It was so true that it made me laugh!

Today I'm not quite that grouchy BUT... here's some of my morning so far -

After specifically asking Garrett to take "the letters with STAMPS on them" to the mailbox, he took both piles. Which included a bank deposit. A bank deposit that's needed to pay the bills in envelopes with stamps. Did I mention that we have one of those group boxes for the entire street? ACH!! How does one go about getting a bank deposit returned? (Luckily Jason stepped in and saved the day by making a couple phone calls.)

So next, I'm in the middle of making pancakes and I realize that the wheat I'm grinding is moving. Like, moving in not a good way. Like, moving with legs. As in, that's not wheat - it's bugs! We may have eaten pancakes with ground bug guts this morning. It makes me tired. We have 100's of pounds of wheat that may be infested with critters. There goes our food storage.

One more sad note and then I'll end my pity party and get on with my day.

For the last 2 1/2 years, I have enjoyed the HUGE tree in our neighbor's yard. It provides us with enough shade in the summer that we don't need air conditioning. It also keeps most of our backyard out of the hot summer sun. When our window is open at night, I listen to the leaves blow and during the day, I can lay on my bed and watch the wind. We have used that tree to gauge the progress of spring and fall. I loved that tree! (Can you guess where this is going?) Even more than I thought.

Yesterday evil tree men were paid by the little elderly neighbor lady to cut down that amazing beauty. I was so, so, so sad!! I didn't realize how much I had grown to love that tree. I've always appreciated nature but I was surprised to find myself mourning the loss of one tree. Turns out I looked at it every single morning. And - you guessed it - this morning it's not there. {sigh}

The tree I used to see from my bedroom window (and this is after over 1/3 was already cut away!) -

Now you see it....

And now you don't!
(It was fun to watch the evil tree guy work but I would much rather have my tree back.)

The Halloween candy sort. Each kid collected AT LEAST 2 gallons worth of candy. Ridiculously unhealthy. I made them sort - most went with Dad to work, some for later, some for lunch treats and some to be put away for later. Turns out I can't be trusted alone with candy in the house!

Caleb getting ready for his Bakugan Birthday Brawl party. Yes, that is a Bakugan cake. Yes, that is a Bakugan shirt. And, yes, that is the coolest dragon pinata ever.

Socks on the Sidewalk

2009-10-19T09:08:00.000-07:00

This morning on my way home from walking the boys to school, I noticed a dirty, crumpled, wet sock on the ground, hidden slightly under wet leaves and dead grass. It made me smile.

I used to wonder - how in THE world does a single SOCK end up on the sidewalk? Toys? Yeah, okay. I can see how a kid could lose those. But ONE sock?? I just didn't get it.

But I don't wonder those kinds of things anymore.

As a matter of fact, I could probably explain exactly how single boots, coats, shirts and other random but seemingly necessary items wind up in the lost and found. For you see, Caleb would probably lose the nose on his face if it weren't attached.

Just Saturday he wore green flip flops out and about (with black athletic pants - but that's another story) because he couldn't find his shoes. We've spent countless hours searching for his glasses. (And usually find them in the most amazing, random places - under his mattress - not under his bed but under the mattress - behind the toilet, hanging on a tree, you get the idea...) Last winter he lost 3 coats and who-know-how-many sweatshirts. (Is it any wonder I buy 2nd hand?) Socks? Oh, they're everywhere. EXCEPT in his drawer. Just last night Jason found a dirty sock on top of the book shelf. The sad thing is - it didn't even surprise either of us.

You know, now that I think about it, that sock on the sidewalk was probably ours!

On an entirely different, unrelated note, I just ate a roast beef sandwich for breakfast. Odd, maybe. But it was either that or leftover birthday cake and ice cream. (Yes, it's true - Caleb had a birthday and I'm now officially the mother of a 10-year-old.)

And with that, I guess it's time to get this Monday started. Blech.

TP

2009-10-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

"Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes." Ain't it true. And I'm not even near the end! (At least I hope not.)

Today I'm home with 2 sick kids. But it's a good day to be home because it's dreary outside - cloudy, cold and rainy. A perfect day to curl up in a few (hundred) blankets and watch movies. (Right after I finish this blog, check my email, start some laundry and make my bed...)

Comfort vs Fashion

2009-10-09T10:15:00.001-07:00

Over 99.9% of the time, if I'm given the choice of comfort or fashion, I choose COMFORT! However, I do try to avoid looking look like a total slob and like to appear pulled-together.

I went shopping yesterday for the first time in ump-teen years and realized that I have no sense of fashion. None. I couldn't even tell what matched. OR whether or not those cute shirts belonged in the maternity section. Can you wear stripes, flowers, solids, frills and bling all at the same time? Apparently so. Styles have changed since the last time I took notice. No wonder I have a hard time being fashionable. I simply have no sense of fashion!

So, since I have no sense of fashion, then at least let me be comfortable! Ideally, the worlds would collide and I'd find myself in "classic comfort" heaven. (That's why I love Dansko shoes!) Until then, out with the tight jeans. Out with high heels. And definitely out with the skin-hugging everything.

Oddly enough, I caught myself choosing fashion over comfort this morning. I had a meeting at the school and while I looked cute enough, imagine this -

Jeans, brown clogs, orange-ish shirt, lightweight yellow zip hoodie. Makeup on, hair curly and combed. No major problem yet, right? Well, add 40-degree temperatures and me riding my bike. It was FREEZING! But could I put on a heavier sweatshirt or jacket? Nope. That would cover up my newly-purchased, very cute yellow zip hoodie. Could I wear a hat or ear band? Nope. That would mess up my curls. Could I have worn a different pair of pants? Yeah, that actually would have been a good idea. Have you ever biked in jeans? Not exactly the most pleasant sensation.

I'm back home now and it's just me and my computer. I'm thinking it's time to shed the tight jeans, pull the hair back and get to work...

My Thumb is Not Green

2009-10-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

Our yard is pathetic. And my little garden spots are worse!

I've kind of been giving myself a hard time about that because I had such high hopes this last spring. I've even been calling my garden experiment a failure - and is it any reason? This poor little tomato plant pretty much sums up the condition of our entire yard. (It's okay. You can laugh.)

The tomatoes that did grow never ripened. Most of the carrots grew to the amazing height of two inches. My lettuce went to seed before we even had a chance to harvest it. The corn is still shorter than I am. The raspberry plants are practically laying on their side reaching for sun. My herbs died. And our zucchini ripened when we weren't around to enjoy it.

However.

In an effort to be positive, I've reminded myself that this whole garden thing was an EXPERIMENT. I never said my garden or yard would flourish. After all, the definition of experiment is: "a test, trial, or tentative procedure; an act or operation for the purpose of discovering something unknown or of testing a principle, supposition, etc."

A test to discover something new. And that's exactly what my garden was - a test. And we definitely learned something new. Look at all the things that my garden experiment taught us:

* If an established 30-foot tree and a small unsprouted seed are competing, the tree will win.

* Vegetable plants need sun. And lots of it. Our little yard doesn't have enough.

* Manure smells stronger in the city than it does in the country. (Don't ask.)

* Zucchini plants do NOT climb. (Pumpkin plants, on the other hand, do.)

* If you don't pick your produce, it will dry up and loose flavor.

* Kids enjoy the process of discovery.

* Fresh home-grown string beans taste 400 times better than those from the can.

* Cold air underneath a deck will have a negative effect on potted plants!

* Too much water can kill potted petunias.

* The pots that say they'll hold water for 2 weeks? They lie.

* My kids enjoy snacking out of the garden.

And I'm sure there's more. Actually, now that I think about it, I could blog an entire post about composting... another summer experiment. Our compost bin is currently filled with stench and flies. Thank goodness cold weather is coming!

Maybe I'll start tanning.

2009-09-29T14:53:00.000-07:00

I hate that the weather affects me so much. The last few weeks have been beautiful - my favorite kind of fall weather - cold at nights and cooler during the day but still sunny. Today is gray, with wind and the house is cold. And, I'm afraid it's just the first gray day of many yet to come. I guess it's time to find those coats, gloves and umbrellas. {sigh}

PS I just ate the last 2 twinkies in the freezer. Food always warms you up and makes you happy, right?? Thank goodness there were only 2.

Hello Gorgeous

2009-09-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

I don't believe in email forwards but this one is just TOO good to pass up!! As a matter of fact, it's good enough to post here...

Hello Gorgeous.

Today is National 'HOLY COW, YOU'RE HOT' Day! Send this to someone gorgeous, but don't send it back to me, I've been getting this message all freakin' day!!!

2009-09-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

I've been playing with pictures tonight and have 2 to share -

1. We went camping with Jason's parents in McCall this last weekend. The kids LOVE camping with Grandma & Grandpa - any guesses why??

2. WHAT is this thing?? It was another camping adventure. We decided it must be a bug from outer space. It was at least an inch long, wings, double stingers - and refused to die.

Waiting to Breathe

2009-09-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been nuts! I feel like I've had my head down plowing forward - and holding my breath until I can come up for air. I'm not sure it's time to breathe yet, but it's at least time to pause for reflection.

After 9 months of emotional strain, torture and physical sacrifice, my sister had the most beautiful baby. Her name is Lillian Grace.

We went to her baby blessing specifically to meet "the thing" that has caused so much stress to everyone and that has already been such a part of our lives. It was well worth the trip. She smells like a baby, feels like a baby and even cries like a baby. I held her as tight and for as long as I could and reflected on the fact that some babies are born without people to love them. I caught a new glimpse of why babies are special. This one is extra special. Over the last two years, I've been mourning the fact that no more babies are coming to our family and trying really hard to be okay with that. I thought I had made significant progress but was surprised to find myself so willing to jump every time Lilli squeaked. Projects are fun and all, but I think I'd (still) rather hold a baby.

Speaking of projects...

I just completed the coolest Heritage Makers project. It's a family trivia game complete with a game board (framed poster), question cards (the draw pile) and 5x5 storybook (instructions and trivia answers). I hope it'll give people ideas (and reasons to want to purchase HM products) but more importantly, I hope it will help my kids know their heritage. The trivia cards include questions about our family, the kids' grandparents, great grandparents and great great grandparents on both sides. Like I said - it's a pretty cool thing.

Game board:
http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?pr ojectID=986998&productId=29

Trivia cards:
http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?projectID=987597&productId=63

Answer book:
http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?projectID=989049&productId=1

My next (current) project is a 8x8 storybook about all of the kids' cousins. My brothers, sisters and in-laws have been so good about supplying pictures and information about their kids! Each cousin, as well as Caleb and Garrett, gets one page with their name, a little bit about them and several pictures. I can't wait until it's done!

I'm a project girl through and through. Unfortunately, I've realized that sometimes I measure my self worth based on my projects, task lists and how much I can get done. The down side of that is - there's ALWAYS more to do and enough is never enough when you're me.

We got a new family picture.

Aren't we cute? (Please note the very expensive - but LOW daily maintenance - hair!!) I still marvel at the fact that my little personal "about me" picture looks so different than I actually look but it just goes to show that you can be anyone you want on the Internet.

I'm currently taking three Internet classes from CreativeTechs - Digital Photography, Lightroom & Photoshop. They're awesome! They're also free - all the better. Turns out my original suspicions were correct - I love photos. As a matter of fact, photographs will be the main topic of my next website. Yes, I'm planning another website. FamilyReunionSuccess.com is in its 16th month and proof that I can make money on the web. I don't have enough time to keep up with all my ideas, but that's a good thing because it means I'm definitely not bored.

Speaking of which -
it's time to go! I guess I'll breathe some more some other day.

Construction, Cameras & Chaos

2009-09-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of school and start of yet another chapter of life. The kids were wide awake, dressed, beds made, shoes and backpacks on and reading patiently when Jason and I got home from the gym this morning at 6:40. That would be 6:40 AM. They haven't seen the light of day before 8:00 a.m. for weeks. Do you think they were excited?

But get this -
The school is on a dead end street and that street is under construction. Traffic was being rerouted but even then absolutely everyone accessing the school, whether on bike, foot or car, had to cross through a construction zone. SO... Can you just imagine the mayhem? You've got all these new students, extra parents, school buses, strollers - and everyone in an excited hurry avoiding unfinished curbs, picking their way over gravel and stirring up dust. It was all rather comical to observe.

Because of the construction and because I'm me, I walked the kids all the way to school. Garrett was quick to leave me in the dust (literally) and was a full block ahead of us by the time we got there. I think he was afraid I was going to hug or kiss him in public. Caleb, however, is my snuggle bug and was thrilled to chill with me and even held my hand most of the way.

I was sad to see them go but survived. After paying for lunches and school supplies, I stopped by Garrett's classroom and insisted he give me a hug. He was already busy coloring and was quick to say - without even looking up from his desk, "Mom, I'm working on this."

Sheesh. Leave the kid alone already, right?

No way. I told him he could stand up and give me a hug or that I would kiss him in front of all his classmates. Get this - he completely ignored me! The little girl next to him was smiling and watching with curious interest. To Garrett's great disappointment, I quickly hugged him AND gave him a kiss on the top of his head. While trying hard not to smile, he resisted, pushed me away and I left.

Caleb's first day of 4th grade.

Garrett's first day of 2nd grade.
(Note the shirt - "My Mom Rocks." He can hide it all he wants, but I know he loves me.)

Moms brand their children for life.

2009-08-23T20:18:00.001-07:00

I just finished reading "The Stone Diaries" by Carol Shields. An interesting book, although I'm not sure I'd really recommend it to anyone. It was fun to note the writer's style - she's very good at switching back and forth between the various character's backgrounds and corresponding first-person thoughts.

This was my favorite quote. It rings oh, so true:

"... you can't make it go away. Your mama's inside you. You can feel her moving and breathing and sometimes you can hear her talking to you, saying the same things over and over, like watch out now, be careful, be good, now don't get yourself hurt." (p. 191)

Any New Yorkers out there?

2009-08-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

All residents from the New York tri-state area are invited to apply to be on an HGTV holiday special. But act quickly - the deadline is 8/26. Check out the details here. Email me for more info or call (917) 677-7356 and tell them I sent you!

Bits & Pieces

2009-08-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I had my hair cut and colored. It cost too much money, but you know what? I love it. It's been kind of fun to look in the mirror and actually see something that I like for a change. As a matter of fact, I fully intend to spend that ridiculous amount of money again sometime in the future! Say, in 6 to 8 weeks?

I've discovered that I like chocolate milk. It's sweet (but not too sweet) and filling. I find one cup of it to be quite refreshing AND worth the 3 Weight Watcher's points. I've been leaving the kids home alone lately for about an hour while I attending Weight Watcher's meetings once a week. It's good for all of us, but, man, it is just so crazy how grown up they're becoming. Managing my food intake and body image will forever be a personal challenge for me.

I just (like 15 minutes ago) spoke to the casting director of an HGTV special holiday show and she referred to the bond between a parent and child as a "love affair." I like that! On a side note, if you're in the New York area and involved in a family reunion this fall and want to be on television... let me know and I'll hook you up.

I realized today that the kids and I only have 2 more days to enjoy the pool! Even though school doesn't start until Sept. 2, the pool closes this weekend. How sad is that? Yesterday the WSU football team was there and, boy, was that a fun one to watch! Once the season's over, maybe I'll blog all of the fun, silly, bizarre and gross things I've seen at the pool this summer. Heavens knows there has been plenty!

I've had an early morning date with my husband every morning so far this week (and three last week) at the gym. It's so strangely romantic! We sweat next to each other in the mornings, compare body aches in the afternoon and talk about our next workouts in the evenings. This morning I even offered to share my i-pod.

Life is good. But I definitely need a nap!!

Loud Music & Black Cookies

2009-08-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

Our family is reaching new stages. Not too long ago, I let the kids make cookies on their own. Okay, I supervised but decided in advance that it would be okay if they weren't edible. But, get this - they were edible! Not great, but definitely okay.

So ever since, the boys have been begging to make cookies. This morning while I lay in bed (fully dressed, mind you) trying to get warm and waiting for my jello legs to set (another story entirely), the kids hand another go at cookies. This time they were completely on their own (jello legs aren't good for walking, let alone cookie supervising).

As you might have guessed by now, the cookies didn't turn out so great this time. They're sort of, oh, shall we say, black. There are black crumbs all over the place and the kitchen is a major disaster zone. Sugar canister open, flour trails from one counter to the other, sticky measuring spoons, cookie dough all over the sink... But the kids are downstairs rockin' to Voice Male (turned to almost maximum volume) and "cleaning" up.

I'm here at the computer smiling to myself and wanting to always remember this stage of life.

Kindness

2009-08-10T13:50:00.001-07:00

Not too long ago, I had a friend tell me that she needed to hang out with me more because I'm so "kind" and she thought that some of my "kindness" could rub off on her.

Huh?

I can think of a lot of words to describe myself but "kind" has never been one of them. Better words would be "prickly" or "critical." Those I can definitely do. But "kind"? Not so much.

Not that KIND isn't a good way to be, because I think it is. It's just never been an adjective that I'd choose for ME. For the pope, the prophet - yes. But me? No, not really.

Although, I have to admit - it does make me want to try harder.

Featured on Tip Junkie

2009-08-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

Tip Junkie is all about creative crafts, fun things to do with your kids, time savers for stay-at-home moms and unique family activities. Quite some time ago, I submitted a "tip" - my Crazy Cousins card game - and today I was featured on their site. Pretty cool to think that I'm responsible for one of the site's many great ideas. Go me!

Funk

2009-07-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

Today I'm in a tired, weird funk. If I had my choice of any activity in the world, I would choose... nothing. But even nothing might require more energy and thought than I can muster. As usual, it's not that there is nothing to do. Because there's plenty to do - weed the garden, plan family meals, balance the checkbook, write a will (yes, it's on my to do list), blog hop, read, clean the house, take the kids to the park, call someone, make the bed, go to the pool, return our library books, schedule a hair cut, organize the game closet, go for a walk, call the insurance company, wash clothes, write an e-book, update my website, get the mail. See? There's plenty to do. It's just that none of it sounds fun or even slightly appealing. The sun is shining and the sky is blue but my outlook is definitely gray.

HGTV emailed

2009-07-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I'm giddy.

HGTV sent me an email earlier this week and I'll be helping them locate a family for a family reunion special they want to produce. Woo hoo! Is that the coolest thing ever, or what?!?

Seaweed Jump Rope

2009-07-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

We just returned from a 7-day camping trip at Fort Stevens State Park on the Oregon Coast. Ahhh. As usual, it went by way too fast. (Well, except for the driving part. We've put well over 2,000 miles on our car in the last 3 weeks and I think we've all had enough of sitting in the car for hours on end.) I think playing seaweed jump rope was one of my favorite activities. I'm not sure what I liked best - playing with the kids or watching Jason being grossed out that we were actually playing with that stuff.

We've decided to make visiting the Oregon Coast an annual tradition for our family. For next year, I have my eye on the Love Nest in Gleneden. I've actually been wanting to stay there for years (seriously) but I think 2010 might finally be my lucky year.

Summer is Slipping Away

2009-07-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

It seems like school just barely got out and yet my gut tells me fall is just around the corner!

I've written many blog posts in my head over the last few weeks - "how to have a hospital party," "what you should NOT see at the swimming pool," and "bandaids and blood," are just a few of their titles. But. Since I'm trying to spend as little time as possible in front of the computer this summer, these blog entries remain in my head. Until they spill out, I guess they'll remain as fun little personal jokes that make me smile at random moments.

In the meantime, I just downloaded a bunch of pictures from my camera. I love pictures. Every time I look at recent photos, I vow to take more. Here are just a few of our recent highlights -

You know it's time to take your son to the ER when the Quick Care nurse calls you with a panic undertone in her voice. Garrett couldn't breathe and he ended up staying overnight in the hospital for several breathing treatments. I stayed with him and we - you guessed it - had a hospital "party" in the middle of the night, complete with ice cream and movies.

The boys recently took on a job of dog sitting Pomeranians Meeca and Rascal for several days. They did such a great job!! I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't have to clean up any poop or do anything more than give the kids occasional reminders to feed, water, walk, etc. I'm so proud of them.

Here's Jason and I on the 4th of July. We took the kids to the Johnson parade to celebrate our freedom with 100's of other people. I love that parade. It's in the middle of a wheat field and we had to park at least a mile away. Anyone can be in the parade and, trust me, there are plenty of interesting participants! They go down the road then turn around and come back. The road has no shoulder and yet people are packed shoulder to shoulder on both sides. So imagine - a narrow road to begin with, people squeezed in on both sides, horses, water guns, candy hurling through the air, basically a whole lot of chaos... and the parade happening on both sides of the yellow center line. Awesome!

Quote of the Day

2009-06-25T10:51:00.001-07:00

The future arrives at the same speed, regardless of who you are - 60 minutes per hour.

Bacon, 11, Awe and A Question

2009-06-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

I love blogging. Where else can I shout out "I'm amazing" and have people graciously feed my ego by agreeing??

My kids are downstairs fixing themselves a very late bacon breakfast and I am desperately trying to "finish" my computer work for the day. But, really, is my "computer work" ever finished these days? No, not really.

Since I love cyberspace, I have a couple quick things -

Oh my word. There are only ELEVEN email messages in my in box. I have to say it quick because a) it never happens and b) it won't stay that way for long. But it's the fewest I've had in a long, long time.
I'm in awe. I (apparently) just signed up my first Heritage Makers consultant. But here's the "awe" part - I didn't even know it. I just keep building family reunion website content (including occasional HM reviews and mentions) and wake up one morning to a pleasant surprise - a new traffic record, MORE $ from Google AND someone who loves Heritage Makers as much as I do. Wow-zers. I don't even know what to do with myself.

Okay, now for my question -
Would you, or do you know anyone that would, have use for digital scanning services? The super-amazing, professional, $1400+ scanner I've had my eye on is on sale. And I have a 0%-APR-on-new-purchases credit card... Would you pay $.19 per scan? (That's digital images of 500 pictures for $95.) Or, put it like this - how much would you pay to scan a shoebox full of photos? Feel free to email me directly with your thoughts or just post them here.

Off to save the world (or something like that)...

I Am Amazing!

2009-06-19T10:58:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about this blog post for some time now. And, you know, the advantage of thinking about a title like, "I'm Amazing," is that I keep coming up with things to add to my list of amazing-ness!!

It all started with the fact that I installed a new toilet seat on not one but TWO toilets in our house. It was kind of a gross and dirty job and took me 5 times longer than it would have taken, say, the handyman I sleep with, BUT someone had to do it. And that "someone" was me and, what can I say, I did it and discovered in the process that I am amazing.

Then there's the yard situation. I've taken the bull by the horns and am winning! Okay, so the analogy might not exactly work but the yard is looking pretty darn good. Especially the flower beds and areas that I have claimed responsibility for. I don't even worry about the other disaster spaces. So, two more "amazing" list items - my parts of the yard look great AND I don't worry about the others.

Have you ever installed edging? I have. It might not be perfectly straight and I probably didn't do it the "right" way, BUT, it's done. I also figured out how to get dirt to fill in the holes and added fresh cedar mulch for the finishing touch. I am so amazing.

Then there was that day that I... got up, baked bread, completed ALL the laundry (including sheets, towels and rugs), played with my kids, balanced the checkbook, cooked dinner, baked cookies AND made over $20 from Google AdSense. All in the same day. Amazing!

Oh, there's more. I can fire up the grill on my own, I own an LLC, I recycle AND compost, I make my kids do summer homework, I have herbs on my back porch...

And that's just the start of it because...
I am amazing!

My amazing little garden is actually growing!

Oh, look. My amazing herbs.

Randomness

2009-06-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Summer's here - pool's open.

So if you can see all the way through somone's suit... do you say something??

Doors and Lights

2009-06-04T13:46:00.001-07:00

Today's the kids' first day of summer vacation. And if today is any reflection of what the rest of my summer is going to be? I vote for school to start again and quick!

We have the triplets today, so, mind you, I have 5 kids instead of 2 but good grief! I feel like my whole day has consisted of walking around the house shutting doors and turning off lights. It's a constant "I need this," and "I need that," which is okay, but when they can't find the towel that's 2 feet in front of them? Come on, now.

So far we've done all of our regular fun stuff and more. I made them a treasure hunt, they've ridden bikes, played basketball, walked on cans (remember that fun game from when you were a kid?), played catch, watched a movie, eaten popcorn, had a fun lunch, played with the slip 'n slide, jumped on the trampoline, jumped on the trampoline with the sprinkler, played house, ridden the skateboards, played volleyball and I don't know about you - but I'm exhausted! Apparently on the first day of summer vacation all of our regular fun stuff and more still isn't enough. It's like there are these 5 little kids in a frenzy, trying to do everything all at once.

In the meantime, the house is hot because all the doors have been left open and the lights left on and I'm in shock, still trying to adjust to this thing called summer.

Adam & Eve

2009-05-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

When Adam & Eve were sent from the Garden of Eden to "till the earth," I'm pretty sure that it was a huge blessing for them. What is it about digging in the dirt? For the second Saturday in a row, I just spent a good portion of the day outside in the yard pulling weeds, planting seeds and shoveling dirt. Yard work is a back-breaking, exhausting, dirty job but it brings such a sense of accomplishment. My mom loves working the ground and I think I finally know why.

These roots were a bugger!! Every time I put the shovel in the ground, I was running into thick roots. I finally decided to trace them back to the source (which was obviously the very tall tree in the neighbor's yard), or at least to the fence. I had to use a saw to cut the 2-3" root that was branching itself 15-20 feet in every direction into my soon-to-be vegetable space. The picture hardly does my hard work justice.

We had a couple of roses die this winter so I decided to take the 4' of ground and plant lettuce. I think Jason wondered when he saw me watering bare dirt and he definitely thinks I'm crazy for growing vegetables with the roses. In another flower bed, I planted carrots and green onions. I just keep saying - it's just all a big science experiment!

I love French tater tots!

2009-05-29T13:37:00.000-07:00

For our 15th wedding anniversary, Jason and I decided to do something a little different - we actually acknowledged our anniversary AND celebrated! Woo hoo! We haven't skipped all of the past 15 anniversaries, just most of them. I think both of us always have good intentions, but let's face it - couple time is, unfortunately, rarely our top priority.

But about those tater tots.

We ate dinner at West of Paris. Okay, but it was more than just "dinner." It was a gourmet, 8-course, 3-hour romantic experience. I even showered, shaved my legs AND dressed up for the occasion. And that's saying something. The pre-appetizer and pallet cleansers were served in tiny little dishes that made me feel like I was at a princess' tea party with my very own Hairy Honey. I drank mineral water that came in it's own fancy green bottle and we tasted at least 6 different kinds of cheese.

But my favorite part? Those little potato thingies that came with the main course! Oh, my word. Think of a fancy, French version of mashed potatoes with cream and cheese on the inside of a 2" ball with an ever-so-slightly crunchy fried outside. I have no idea what they were really called but when I asked our waiter what was in them, and he noticed the blank stare on my face when he explained using way-too-many-for-my-little-head foreign French words, he simplified by saying, "Basically, they're our own French version of tater tots, made from scratch, of course."

All I can say is - Yum!! I could have eaten an entire adult-sized plate of the little things.

I have something to say!

2009-05-02T17:34:00.000-07:00

For the first time in who knows how long, I'm dying to shout something to the world. THAT is what blogging is all about to me - having something to say but not necessarily any particular one to say it to.

So here's the deal -

I just had someone (whom I have never met and have only emailed once or twice) place a $100 Heritage Makers order online. Woo hoo!! It's so stinking cool. My website WORKS.

Now to continue to have patience...

I'm done

2009-04-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know it'll come as a HUGE shock, but I have some serious computer/internet/website burn out going on. So, I thought I would warn the 125-ish of you that read/check my blog on a weekly basis (who you are and why you're a regular fan is, honestly, beyond me) that I'm done! I don't plan on reading your blog and I don't plan on writing on mine for at LEAST a week. LOL. The sun is shining and I'm ready to unplug until further notice... (It'll be fun to see how long it lasts, don't you think? No worries, I'll still check email daily.)

Peace out,
Lydia

Something new everyday

2009-04-07T08:47:00.001-07:00

I saw something this morning that I've never seen before: a person riding a bike and texting at the same time. Craziness!

REALLY not funny.

2009-04-02T14:22:00.000-07:00

Seriously?? Yup. This was the view from my kitchen window this morning. We had 5-6 inches of new snow fall during the night. I'm refusing to shovel the driveway. I'm sure that'll make spring, sunshine and warmer weather come just a bit sooner!

Not funny.

2009-04-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

My Dad's standard April Fool's joke when I was a little girl was something along the lines of -
"Hey, kids! Come quick! Look - there's 4 inches of new snow on the ground!!"

Today? Not so funny. We had another nasty winter storm yesterday and there really IS snow on the ground.

But this video? It really IS funny. It makes our family laugh every time we watch it. (Yes, we watch YouTube for entertainment.)

Want another one? Bulud. Not funny. (Embeding this video's not an option, but it's worth the click.) Go ahead - you can waste 58 seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ

George is dead.

2009-03-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

Caleb wants a dog. He's wanted a pet dog forever. So, to procrastinate a family responsibility I didn't think any of us were ready for, we announced in November that he must first prove capable of caring for something smaller. He decided he wanted a fish.

I was convinced this whole pet thing wouldn't last long and even more convinced that Caleb wouldn't be able to keep a fish alive, soooo... being the mean mom that I am, I announced he would have to pay for the fish and supplies himself. He was okay with that. I was surprised. Eventually, he saved enough nickles and dimes and off to the pet store we went. He was in charge. He decided which gold fish he wanted, which fish food he could afford and gladly paid for his new fish, which he named "George" before we even left the store. He was so proud and happy.

That was the beginning of November.

When we traveled for Thanksgiving, we suggested to Caleb that he might want to clean George's bowl before we left and think about who was going to take care of his fish while we were away, but left it at that. We thought it would be a good lesson for him to see that a pet can't survive for days without food and TLC.

We were wrong. Surprisingly, George did survive for days without food and TLC.

When we came home, the poor thing was swimming through filth thick enough to get stuck in and his poor little belly was concave. But he was alive and recovered fine.

In December, the same thing happened. We left George in a dirty bowl with no food when we traveled for Christmas. Jason and I we again convinced we would come home to a dead fish. But, nope! Although we did come home to a terribly skinny gold fish with brown gunk sticking to his fins. At that point, he was swimming kind of sideways so we figured the end was in sight.

Wrong again. He recovered once more - apparently he had adjusted to the sporadic care of a 9-year old.

Fast forward to yesterday. Rather suddenly and with no particular warning, the kids found George floating belly up. He even had a clean bowl. Caleb sobbed and sobbed. Poor kid. This morning we rather ceremoniously flushed him down the toilet and wished him well on his way to pet heaven. I asked Caleb if he wanted another gold fish but he said no, because he didn't want to feel this sad if it died, too.

Despite the sadness, I'm glad we had George. He gave Caleb a unique sense of pride and responsibility and he reminded me that my son is capable of great things. What wonderful life lessons. And all for just 25 cents.

Night Dreams

2009-03-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

Garrett, in the middle of the night: Mom, can I snuggle with you?

Me, half awake: No.

Garrett: But I had night dreams.

Me, half awake but smiling while pulling back the covers: Get in.

{Fast forward to this morning...}

Jason to Garrett: Did you figure out a way to get in our bed last night?

Garrett, smiling: Yeah. I just tricked Mom and told her I was having night dreams.

Help! Please post your ideas.

2009-03-21T08:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so if you follow this blog at all, you know that I'm excited about my family reunion website. You also know that I very rarely ask anything of my readers. Heck, normally I don't even acknowledge you.

But today is different.

I just added a new submission/comment page on my website and I need your help! Please visit here: http://www.family-reunion-success.com/family-reunion-idea.html and post your ideas. Don't be shy. Some of you have already sent me comments via email... just write them again for the world to see. :) Yes, I want your comments but mostly I need to figure out how this newest site addition works... what happens when someone submits and how I handle the logistics.

While you're at it, what other interactive-type family reunion elements should my site include? And how do I motivate people to get involved? I was thinking about:
* a place for families to announce their own family reunions - basically create their own pages that their family can comment on
* something about locations - what's the best one and why
* submit your worst family reunion story

Others?

Thank you all - strangers, friends & family - in advance for your honest participation!!

Ice cream for breakfast

2009-03-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

It doesn't happen very often, but I just fed my kids cake ice cream for (a late) breakfast. Today, I am the hero!

Yesterday was Garrett's 7th birthday. How did that happen so quickly?

His birthday was one big party all day long. He woke up to a decorated house and note (I'm so proud of myself for sneaking in such great reading practice!) that explained the day's agenda - which consisted of all of his favorite meals and activities. Jason surprised him by staying home from work (I think it was his favorite gift) and we also sent him on a treasure hunt throughout the house - which ended by finding a pair of (wrapped) heely's in the washing machine. He got to pop about 15 balloons that had little notes inside of stuff we could do together as a family - a silly string fight, a trip to Wal-Mart to spend birthday $, ride bikes to the park, eat cake and ice cream, etc. The kid was spoiled rotten!! (That's a Pikachu cake, in case you can't tell...)

Pinata... BUSTED! The last homemade pinata we tried to break required heavy tools and excessive beating. So this one only got 2 layers - and broke on the 4th hit. I'm thinking maybe 3 layers would be the magic number.

I try to get a family picture on every person's birthday... unfortunately that didn't happen yesterday, but Caleb did take a picture of Garrett and I. A couple notes about the picture...
1. Garrett's sporting his new zip sweatshirt hoodie from Grandma and Grandpa Olson and I'm wearing my new favorite sweatshirt that features my Family Reunion Success logo. Sweet!
2. My face is round and puffy and you can see the wrinkles between my eyebrows. {sigh} I hate that.
3. And, yes, there is still snow on the ground.

Feeling Famous Again

2009-03-16T21:01:00.001-07:00

This last weekend, I hid in a cave with my computer and put the finishing touches on my family reunion planner / guide. Today I posted it for sale on my website. I've been sitting here quietly hoping that someone - actually lots of someone's - will think it's as cool as I do and click the "buy now" button! I'm feeling a little famous and a lot self conscious.

Two Things -

2009-03-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

1. If you ever want to find that library book that has been missing for 4-6 months, all you have to do is pay for the replacement. Seriously. The book has been missing since September, we've all searched the house a thousand times over and I just sent Caleb with a check this morning. This afternoon I found the book. This is the third or fourth time this has happened. (You'd think we'd stop losing library books. But trust me - it's harder than it sounds. After all, Caleb has "lost" 3 coats just this week.)

2. I know why cleaning is not my favorite activity. It's never entirely finished and what does get "done" doesn't stay that way for longer than 24 hours. Heck. What am I saying. It doesn't even stay for even 24 minutes. I'd much prefer to work on projects that have a clear start and finish.

I need to stop watching movies right before bed.

2009-03-08T15:41:00.000-07:00

So last night I dreamed - all night long - that I had a baby and kept forgetting him. His birthmother's name was Monica (Garrett's birthmom's name) and his name was Eli (a baby nephew's name). I'm not sure what was worse - losing him in my dreams or waking up to find he didn't exist to begin with! Those movies get in my head every single time...

Winter Wonderland

2009-03-06T08:29:00.000-08:00

We woke up this morning to 3-4 inches of new snow. Depressing but beautiful.

The Errand of Angels

2009-03-02T08:41:00.000-08:00

The errand of angels is given to women... a gift... to do whatsoever is gentle and human... to cheer and to bless...

And I'm so glad. I'm so very thankful for the opportunity to do the errand of angels as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. While they are not paid jobs or easy tasks, they bring peace and joy. What a blessing it is to be "gentle and human."

I love pictures

2009-02-20T10:51:00.000-08:00

I have a whole entire list of stuff that I need to do today - cook, clean, shop - unfortunately "computer" is not on that list. Neither is "play with pictures" or "start a new project." But you know what? It appears this is what I do to procrastinate - I combine computer and pictures to start a new project that lets me disappear into my own little safe cave and ignore the world.

And look what picture I rediscovered this morning - it's Jason at 3 months old.

I can't help it - I just love pictures and could stare at them for hours. Unfortunately, after this quick post, I must peel myself away from my beautiful and large computer screen for the day. (Or at least for several hours!) The dirty dishes and toilets are calling my name.

Aw, what a cute kid!

2009-02-18T08:50:00.000-08:00

Look what I found. It's me as a kid... spastic hair, chubby cheeks...
Some things just never change!

My husband rocks!

2009-02-17T10:32:00.000-08:00

I am feelin' the love! This morning I sit behind a brand new 22" flat screen computer monitor given to me by my husband for Valentine's Day - a very thoughtful and therefore quite romantic gift. It's honkin' huge!! 3,000 pictures can fit on the screen at one time (that might be an exaggeration), I can have several programs open at once - and view them side by side, and I actually have to move my eyeballs around to see the entire screen. My productivity (and enjoyment) has just sky rocketed. Forget flowers - this is much, much better. So, see? My husband truly rocks!

The beauty of cyberspace

2009-02-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

Like most women I know, I have very few pictures of myself that I actually like. There was this one, though, taken several years back... I like it quite a bit even though I don't look anything like it nowadays! But, since I can be anything I want in cyberspace, I choose that picture and just updated my profile. Never mind that it represents the only three days in my entire life that I have ever worn my hair straight. I felt good those days and, if nothing else, it serves as a reminder of what could be.

2 1/2 Stupid Cubes of Butter

2009-02-11T09:50:00.000-08:00

I worked my TAIL off this past week (trust me, I no longer have a tail) at the gym and in the kitchen. And for what? For the scale to tell me that I lost a lousy .6 pounds (notice the POINT in front of the 6) - the equivalent of 2 1/2 cubes of butter. I'm thinking about carrying that much butter around in my pocket today just to see if .6 really makes any kind of difference at all.

(Oh. And just for the record? My week included only ONE bowl of sugar cereal and absolutely NO retail therapy at all.)

(Oh yeah. You should also know that the sun is NOT shining today. Blech!)

Never mind.

2009-02-05T11:30:00.000-08:00

I think I solved my dilemma - forget food. I'm ready to spend our grocery money on SHOES! Check these out - aren't they awesome?? Look - there's even a RED pair!

Today is the cereal sale.

2009-02-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

Today is Rosauer's infamous cereal sale. Next week is a trip to the Home Storage Center (aka cannery - think bulk staples - not the kind of staples that you use to connect papers, but the kind of staples that your grandmother used to cook with - you know, beans, rice, flour, sugar, wheat... the healthy basics).

So. Today I must make a decision -
Do I spend our grocery money on sugar cereal ("Yuuuu-uuuummmmmm" as Garrett would say with an "I know I'm cute" smile) or commit to spend a day - and our grocery money - at the cannery? (I can hear Caleb chanting, "Can-ner-y. Can-ner-y...")

$25 would buy about 12 boxes of cold cereal. $25 would also buy 100 pounds of wheat. Sugar verses health; practical verses not; convenience verses time. Do you see the problem?

Woo hoo!!!

2009-02-04T07:06:00.000-08:00

Progress is progress and I'm inching forward. I reached a new record on my website yesterday - 153 unique visitors to FamilyReunionSuccess.com in one day. Yeah! I'm also getting new sign ups for my monthly e-zine and all set to send my 2nd one out. I still have more ideas than I can keep up with and today I'll be working on posting information regarding family reunion t-shirts. (Who knows - maybe I'll even get a new cotton favorite out of my "research"!) It even looks like the sun is going to be shining again today...

I like this day!

2009-02-03T14:12:00.000-08:00

Today is a good day. And I've come up with 10 reasons why...

The sun is shining. (And when the sun shines, I wake up to little rainbows all over the bedroom from the crystal that hangs in the window. I love them.)
I resisted the temptation to spend money on things that we don't NEED right NOW. (Those dollar store items can add up pretty quickly, you know, even if they are being spent on cleaning supplies, scissors, tissues and kitchen towels!)
I resisted the temptation to eat calories I don't need. (Even though that Wendy's chocolate frosty was calling my name. Added bonus: even more $ saved.)
Caleb gave me a ding dong this morning and I just ate it. Boy, did it hit the spot! (Apparently, I needed the ding dong calories.)
The dentist said I have amazing teeth. (The one genetic feature I can really be proud of.)
The scale was a bit kinder to me than it's been recently. ('Nuf said.)
I ran into a friend who said she enjoys reading my blog! (Ahhh. Maybe on some days I really do make just a little bit of a positive difference.)
My hair is crunchy curly - just the way Jason likes it. (Too bad today's not Wednesday!)
I didn't totally suck air during spin class this morning. (I won't get my hopes up... but it actually felt pretty darn good!)

and last but not least...
THE SUN IS SHINING! What a beautiful day.

Monday motivation

2009-02-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

These tips from Gretchen Rubin (blogger and happiness researcher) are the best pieces of exercise advice that I've ever heard:

Always exercise on a Monday. (It starts your week out on the right foot.)
Never skip 3 days in a row.
Give yourself credit for the smallest effort. (A 15-minute walk you DO take is better than the 3-mile run that you DON'T take.)

She also advocates doing something everyday, quoting Andy Warhol: “Either once only, or every day. If you do something once it’s exciting, and if you do it every day it’s exciting. But if you do it, say, twice or just almost every day, it’s not good any more.”

So, so true.

Here's another Monday morning thought. My Great, Great, Great Grandpa Henry Stocks (with his wife and 4 children) emigrated 6,773 miles from Liverpool, England to the Salt Lake Valley in 1855. It took 12 weeks. He and his family were without money, wet, hungry and sick for the majority of the journey. And yet, he remained optimistic and faithful. He recorded in his journal, "The Lord moves upon the hearts of all, and though things appear to be impossible to accomplish, the Lord is gracious and opens up the way before us as we persevere."

Again, so, so true.

Brush your teeth, get in bed

2009-02-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

I asked my kids tonight if I ever sounded like this song. They said no... because they don't have iPods or a cat and I don't ground them. But the rest? Ya, kinda.

The American Family

2009-01-26T19:45:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading "The American Family," a compilation of research studies and reference articles that analyze the status of the family in this country. The book was published in 2003, so the information is 5+ years old. But check it out -

In addition to reading that marriage is losing its social significance and that up until their mid twenties, more women have had babies than are or have been married... I found the following excerpts fascinating. Crazy!

"Who’s in Charge Here?"
by Nancy Gibbs
Time, August 6, 2001

“… every generation thinks the next one is too slack; every parent reinvents the job. Parenthood, like childhood, is a journey of discovery. You set off from your memories of being a kid, all the blessings, all the scars. You overreact, improvise and over time maybe learn what works; with luck you improve.”

“It’s not an option, as it once was, to let the kids roam free outside after school, bike over to a friend’s house, hang out with cousins or grandparents. The streets are not safe and the family is scattered, so kids are often left alone, inside, with the TV and all its messages.”

“Technology also contributes to the erosion of parental authority. Video games are about letting kids manipulate reality, bend it to their will, which means that when they get up at last from the console, the loss of power is hard to handle. You can’t click your little brother out of existence...”

“…a world in which 14-year-olds can manipulate the stock market and 19-year-olds can threaten the whole music industry represents a huge shift in the balance of power.”

Church & State

2009-01-22T11:45:00.001-08:00

I can't help it -
I just keep thinking about President Obama's inauguration. I find it so interesting that in these times of needing to flush the toilet in a politically correct manner (okay, I don't know that that's really true), that he ended his speech with "God bless the United States of America!" That's good. (And we certainly need God's blessing!)

The other words I heard throughout were:
service... endure... honor... work... faith...
More good things.

Just for the record...

2009-01-15T11:08:00.000-08:00

Just because I know you're interested in the (lack of) my daily sagas, let the record show that:

1. I wore the same cotton t-shirt to the gym today (I'll let you wonder whether or not it was clean when I put it on)

and

2. I didn't do dishes last night (or this morning).... And neither did anyone else.